Stupid Questions
(From a bookstore employee)
Questions asked:
Do you sell women's handkerchiefs? (Yes, a bookstore)
Do you sell books with pages that turn?
I'm looking for this book. It had a red cover and it's new.
What's the difference between a solar and lunar eclipse?
Do you carry National Geographic? (available only via subscription)
You work at a bookstore. Can you fix my tape recorder? (asked in line at
the food court)
Has Faulkner's new book come out yet? (isn't he dead?)
Do you carry the New England Journal of Medicine? (sure, it's right
between Playboy and Tiger Beat)
Do you carry Bereavement magazine?
Do you carry ____ (fill in the blank) Orlando Sentinel, Toledo Blade,
St. Louis Post?Dispatch, LA Times, International Herald Tribune,
et al.
Are you open? (When the gate is down and locked)
Other horrific happenings:
In a blank humor book called _Everything Men Know About Women_, someone
urinated. Yes, urinated.
In the diary of Anne Frank, someone put a business card for the
National Alliance, a white supremacist group. (the perfect book to
attract recruits)
Someone tried to return Stephen King's _The Dark Half_ because he
"didn't like it."
The American Family Assoc. picketed the store because it sold
"pornography," i.e. Playboy and Penthouse. The cops came and made
them picket at the mall entrance. (what about National Review?)
The store does free gift wrapping at Xmas. A lady asked if we could wrap
her purchase in the paper she just bought.
Last but not least, there's the ubiquitous strange purchases: priests
buying Playgirl or The Advocate, old men buying Playboy or
Penthouse, old men buying Playgirl, anyone buying muscle mags, a
guy who buys The Girls of Penthouse, examines it closely for
defects, won't let the clerk touch it for fear of damage, who cuts
out the pictures and puts them on his wall at home (or so he says).
|
